It is amazing how simple the word “EMPATHY” is, and how commonly it is used but yet very powerful and therapeutic to the mind, soul and body.

Sometimes I look at empathy as a gift, but it’s learnable. This means every human is capable of possessing this gift since it is learnable. I call it a gift because it is a present that is soothing to the soul, it is given and it is received, it is given willingly and received gratefully. Most importantly it is given without the expectation of payment or reward. Knowing this few things now, does this make you think about EMPATHY differently? Oh Yes! it should.

EMPATHY! is a combination of both passion and compassion. So I define EMPATHY as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another and at the same time not lose yourself in the process. This means the ability to understand someone else’s feeling, share it with them but at the same time don’t trade your own feelings for theirs. We can only show empathy when we are at our best state, notice I didn’t say perfect state because there’s no such thing as perfect state. I said best state because your best state can only be defined by you. You create your best state not someone else. So you can still create and maintain your best state in the middle of chaos and uncertainty. I explained it further because I need you to understand it. When you trade your feeling to someone else simply because you want to understand and share theirs, you have automatically trade your best state or self. And when that happens, you can’t effectively give this gift called EMPATHY. You can share someone’s feeling, but don’t live there, don’t inherit it. Showing empathy to someone going through depression, doesn’t mean you have to feel depressed in order to understand how they feel, showing empathy to someone feeling unhappy, doesn’t mean you should inherit that unhappiness in order to share or understand their feelings “WHAT MAKES EMPATHY EFFECTIVE, IS THAT IT BRINGS HEALING TO BOTH SOULS, NOT HEALING TO ONE AND BURDEN TO ANOTHER”. If that happens, it is only a matter of time before the frustrations are shared between you too.

Empathy cures almost all mental retardation, —> Depression, Anxiety, Low self Esteem, Frustration etc… Even for those caused by chemical imbalance and nutritional deficiencies. Empathy is very powerful because it makes you not feel alone, it makes you feel loved, understood, valued and worthy. LOVE itself is therapeutic in nature, that’s why the Bible said; God Is Love! (1 John 4:8), and empathy consist of love. Again, Being mentally lonely is dangerous, and this can be treated and avoided by empathy. Empathy brings healing to both the giver and the receiver. But like I said earlier on this blog, when you feel burdened while showing empathy, or rather when you experience empathy as a burden, please stop and rethink it. When you feel you are losing your original self while showing empathy, when you feel like you are not only sharing feelings but you are inheriting or adopting those feelings, please you need to stop and rethink it. Empathy can only be effective when you are still in charge of your own feelings, not when you trade or lose them. When you trade your own feelings while showing empathy, you lose its power, and you can’t give what you lost, or don’t have anymore.

There’s beauty, love and liberty in empathy. I took time to explain what empathy is not, because many people have had ugly or burdensome experience in trying to be empathetic. I have experienced the same, I lost myself in the process, but thank God I was able to rethink it. It became unhealthy both for me and the other party, Something that was meant to bring healing, brought stress, burden and frustration. I don’t want this to be you, that’s why I took my time to share this in this blog post. Maybe by next week I will share more on what really is empathy and its advantages, since you now know what it is not.

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